The future a blur and hindsight scratched

Hello, my name is Sophia, a fact I do not feel uncomfortable sharing because there are several thousand Sophias. If the widespread failure at pronunciation is any indication, my last name is much rarer, at least in this country.

I. Music (BOLD THE ONES YOU LISTEN TO) 
Acceptance. Coldplay. Dave Matthews Band.David Bowie. Foo Fighters. Hellogoodbye. The Killers. James Blunt. Teddy Geiger. Linkin Park. Muse. Ok Go. Panic! At The Disco. Peter Bjorn. The Postal Service. Timbaland. Jack Johnson. Norah Jones. The Fray. The Wreckers. Keith Urban. Michael Buble. Beyonce. Metallica. Massive Attack. Queen. Journey. The Cars. Supertramp. Tracy Chapman. Eurythmics. Sublime. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Wu-tang Clan. Fergie. Shakira. John Mayer. Jason Mraz. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Howie Day. Kenny Chesney. Carrie Underwood. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Neil Young. The Beatles. Brad Paisley. Tim McGraw. Keith Anderson. Taylor Swift. Blake Shelton. P. Diddy. Jay Z. Lil’ Wayne. Lil’ John. Three 6 Mafia. Nelly. Young Joc. T.I. Sean Paul. 50 Cent. Eiffel 65. Ace of Base. The Underdog Project. Dream Theater. Santana. Alicia Keys. Incubus. Victor Wooten. Ludacris. Gorillaz. Matchbox 20.Paramore. Taking Back Sunday. Eric Clapton. The Darkness. Weezer. The Eagles. Jimi Hendrix. Nirvana. Smashing Pumpkins. Theory of a Deadman. Tenacious D. Third Eye Blind. Metro Station. Motion City Soundtrack. The Rocket Summer. Something Corporate. Maroon 5. Billy Joel. Reel Big Fish. Anberlin. Mae. Jurassic 5. AC/DC. Hootie and the Blowfish. Electric Six. Outkast. R.E.M. The White Stripes.

II. Movies (BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE SEEN) 
Pride and Prejudice. Glory Road. The Princess Bride. Goonies. Center Stage. Ocean’s Eleven. Seven. Newsies. 300. Robin Hood Men In Tights. Love Actually. Garden State. Donnie Darko. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. My Best Friend’s Wedding. Anchorman. Drop Dead Gorgeous. Wedding Crashers. Elf. Zoolander. Austin Powers. Clueless. Mean Girls. Hairspray. Moulin Rouge. Fight Club. Rocky. Pulp Fiction. What A Girl Wants. Kill Bill. Thank You For Smoking. Little Miss Sunshine. Requiem For A Dream. The Departed. Dawn Of The Dead. Memento. Office Space. Snakes On A Plane. Boondock Saints. Say Anything. The Silence Of The Lambs. Saving Private Ryan. Superbad. The Prestige. Just Friends. The Devil Wears Prada. Under The Tuscan Sun. Titanic. Steel Magnolias. Saw. Ace Ventura. She’s The Man. Because I Said So. Catch And Release. Music And Lyrics. Spanglish. Stick It. Step Up. The Fast And The Furious. Joyride. Halloween. The Italian Job. Crash. Must Love Dogs. The Bourne Identity. Meet The Parents. Dirty Dancing. A Christmas Story. Rudy. National Treasure. Sleepless In Seattle. Miss Congeniality. The Science Of Sleep. The Matrix. Everything is Illuminated. Good Will Hunting. Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Empire Records. Phantom Of The Opera. Lord Of The Rings.

III. TV (BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN A COUPLE OF TIMES) 
ER. Grey’s Anatomy. Saved By The Bell. Man Vs. Wild. Scrubs. South Park. America’s Next Top Model. Gossip Girl. Sex And The City. Friends. Dawson’s Creek. The Big Bang Theory. Seinfeld. The Office.Lost. Miami Ink. Made. Arrested Development. That 70’s Show. Family Guy. The Simpsons. Veronica Mars. Project Runway. Bones. Iron Chef. Alias. Pushing Daisies. Gilmore Girls. The Colbert Report. The Daily Show. Mythbusters. Avatar: The Last Airbender.Will And Grace. 24. House. To Catch A Predator. Whistler. Heroes. Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Unsolved Mysteries. 7th Heaven. Everybody Loves Raymond. Private Practice. Boston Legal. Bleach. What I Like About You. Reba. King Of Queens. Survivor. The O.C. American Idol. Days Of Our Lives. How I Met Your Mother. Boy Meets World. CSI. Law and Order. Numbers. Reno 911. I Love New York. Step by Step. Little People Big World. What Not To Wear. My Wife And Kids. Moonlight. Nip/Tuck. The Biggest Loser. Beauty And The Geek. Battlestar Galactica. Stargate SG1. The Inferno. Scarred. Wild N Out. Real World. Whose Line Is It Anyway? Trinity Blood. Dead Like Me. Dragon Ball Z. Futurama. Firefly. Ripley’s Believe it or Not. Medium. Star Trek. X-Files. Cowboy BeBop. Sailor Moon. My Name Is Earl. Six Feet Under. Dancing With The Stars.Degrassi. Greek. Glee. Secret Life Of The American Teenager. One Tree Hill. Doctor Who.

meme stolen from avec_bonheur 

1) APES went to a waste water treatment facility yesterday. It reeked, but was also fascinating.

2) One of the things about my school that I am proudest of is ASPEN, a group of students who raise funds and awareness for AIDS and HIV protection. And it's not our "model" students who take part but the peppy, popular, stereotypically "unmotivated" students who probably need the condoms they wear around their necks. That's right, our school's "in" crowd teaches their peers about safe sex. Yay us.

The lack of sexual education in this country is astonishing; I know people outside of our state who think you can get AIDS from public drinking fountains, but can avoid it during unprotected sex if they pull out. Just to make it clear: no. Neither of those are true. Today we had our last ASPEN lesson, mostly review and roleplay. I played a girl who had a former partner named Jeff, which amused me greatly. They also took everyone's left shoe, but they never explained the significance of that. Usually all the crazy things ASPEN has us do are explained or obvious.

3) Our school newspaper has always had an application process, but this year over one hundred students are applying. We have sixteen open spots. I wish them luck.

4) I made cat toys for the humane society. My obsessive-compulsive perfectionism amused the girl next to me: "the cats don't care if it's perfectly symmetrical!"

5) Josh Groban has the most beautiful voice. But all my songs of his are from Flo, so pretty much all of them make me melt and want to cry. Apparently I'm a marshmallow at heart.

I'm not sure how second semester of senior year works at other schools, but for me it's involved tons of reading and tests and essays (well, two essays, but given that it's been all of a week) and a giant APES project that is very interesting but also very grueling. That said, it doesn't feel quite as grueling as first semester, but I don't remember the first week of first semester very well.

More than ever, I'm feeling edgy to get into and go to college. I've been reading Wesleyan's course catalog, plotting what courses I would take freshman year (to date, I've done this for all my schools except American University and Stanford, the former of which simply has too many courses and too many potential majors for me to plan right now, the latter of which I just plain don't want to go to) and it got me excited for Wesleyan again, which is nice. I was insanely in love with that school when I visited, but lately I haven't thought of it as much--it just seems too expensive. That said, FAFSA predicts my family's expected financial contribution will be a big fat zero, so maybe I'll get financial aid.

My moods have been weird the last few weeks, but life is good right now.

99% on the AP Literature final = I definitely have a 4.0. 8D

However, my counselor never filled out the required supplement to her letter of recommendation. Given that it was due January 1st, this is a big freaking problem. Hopefully I can talk to her tomorrow.

I think I'm in love with Yale's Anthropology program.

All my final scores for first semester are in except the AP Literature essays (the multiple-choice is graded; I got 100%) and my Writing grade is over 98%, so at this point I really think I'll have all A's. :)  

The first day of second semester started with Mr. Lang assigning us an essay. Not that I'm experiencing any particular senioritis yet, so that's alright. What's not alright is that this semester's Photography class took over the Journalism classroom, so News Production--which is essentially the same class, though it seems this will have more research. Journalism did have research, but it was mostly writing and a few tests--is now nomadic. This is a problem. Today we invaded the room of my English teacher from sophomore year (and I found out my sophomore Honors English is the same as senior non-AP English. Go figure.) We did have laptops, though, and for our Current Events I wrote about how even in the current food crisis Haitians share everything they could get. I think the people who know me well can imagine what attitude I contrasted it to.

While some of my classes have changed names (AP Microeconomics to AP Macroeconomics, AP American Government to AP Comparative Government) my only class that's actually a brand new course with new teachers is my seventh period, Independent Living. The Independent Living classroom is as far from the APES classroom as can be, but the teacher seems aware of the difficulty getting there. She's a nice lady, I guess, but a little over-the top...very "I'm so nice!" and "small kids are so cute!" and "if you aren't kind, you have to sing the kindness song!" Also her voice is annoying, but that could just be the sinus infection. The material looks like it will be interesting, at least. It's an odd class in that it's meant only for seniors or special ed kids (there were three of the latter, two of whom I know from coaching Grace and one of whom I do not.) Wonder what kind of difficulty level that adds up to.

Also, can I just say it's freaking hard describing myself without sounding like I'm either suicidal or seriously confused?

Flo is adorable. She puts tape on her head when she's bored.

Missing Flo like crazy was preemptive: I got to spend three hours with her today, though the horrific headache that started last night and has been plaguing me nonstop kind of put a damper on the pleasure of her presence. It was still nice, and I also saw Margot, which I haven't in quite a while.

Semester finals are finally over! Only my AP Economics and Calculus grades have been finalized, but they were also the only classes where my grades were borderline (well, okay, Calc wasn't that borderline, but a C would still have gotten me a B in the class--unlike, say, APES, where I only need 53.8% to maintain my A) so I am delighted to report acing both finals. Suddenly a 4.0 this semester seems very, very likely.

I've also been doubly tagged to give ten people the You Make My Day Award! To the best of my knowledge only one or two people actually read this journal, but nevertheless:

1. Flo (wicked-wolfie)

2. Kat (lethargicfish)

3. Margot (geoducky545)

4. Perry (perber)

5. Lou (wordandsilence)

6. Xanda (xandathegreat)

7. Alexa (chimena)

8. Melissa (musicaltwin07)

9. Kelsey (captain-catfish)

10. Rachel (winged-dreams)

You're all fantastic. Continue to be. <3

Also, a moment of spam: http://apps.facebook.com/chasecommunitygiving/charities/598099. Personally, I would love it if you voted for Invisible Children and Bridge to Turkiye, but all the causes are good ones.

Death has knocked at your window

Tap tap tap, I have something to sell

You locked the door but here I am

Tap tap tap, peace unlimited

Won't cost you anything worth keeping

You have such lovely windows, you know

Large clear panes of glass

But the structures broke

You paid three thousand to get them fixed

But they asked the wrong person for advice

Death will never cheat you like that

Crack crack crack, an honest deal

And the view is ever so pretty

Crack crack crack, behind the fog

That clouds your fondest dreams

 

( I have opinions. You probably shouldn't read them. )

 

I have been giggling wildly for the last fifteen minutes straight.

Have I mentioned that I have the greatest girlfriend ever? Because, really, tremendous quantities of SHAME on me if I have not.

Leave a ONE WORD comment that you think best describes me. It can only be one word. No more than one word. Then copy & paste this post to your own journal so I can leave a word about you.

Haiti’s history has always been one that made me sad, and I strongly hope (though doubt) that some of the aid being poured in goes to education instead of keeping the citizens alive and leaving them to live in a wreck.

 

I’m supposed to be studying right now, but I’m tired and dizzy and still in pain from going to the doctor on Friday (well, a doctor, I haven’t actually seen my doctor in months; I don’t even know if I’m still his patient or if I’ve been totally handed over to specialists. Nor do I feel like asking.) Also, my stress has manifested itself in—among other things—swollen white rings on my feet that have been sprayed with liquid nitrogen. This meant walking around with Flo today was not the easiest thing in the world. But it’s Flo, so it’s worth it. Who else would give me a bouquet of ridiculously pretty paper flowers because real flowers make me sad, or think it's an amusing idea to attempt kissing upside down (which did not work), or label Angel by Sinead O'Connor "the Sophia song?"

 

Can I just say how unfair it is that I saw her an hour ago and already miss her like a madwoman? The next thirty days are going to stink. But then I’ll see her again. <3

"If you and Rachel got locked up together, what would you talk about?"
Sophia: "Whether or not we can use 'I was in prison' as an excuse for failing the AP Econ final."
Rachel: "I was thinking more along the lines of, 'are there negative externalities to both of our genius, slightly neurotic mings being locked up in the same incarceration center? I'm not sure that the government's demand for us is that inelastic, given the potential havoc that might ensue...'"

Granted, if you aren't in AP Econ, this makes NO SENSE, but I got a laugh out of it. :D

Another thing about taking six APs? The exams are really freaking expensive, especially when your primary caregiver's current income is zero.

Ergo, financial aid = love. I am paying $175 for all my exams put together. *glee*

Also, in journalism, my section is writing about artistic escape. My particular article is about writing as catharsis, with focus on the correlation between writing and manic-depression. Another article is about music, and our mentor--Mr. Glowacki, my AP Lang teacher last year and one of the greatest men ever--was giving critique to the writer about how it's a too culturally biased article, using the emotional impact of West African music as an example. For some reason, the following amused me:

Sophia: "Why are we just talking about WEST African music? East African music is emotional."
Rachel: *not looking up from computer* "I love you Sophia."

Later, Connie apparently looked sad. So:

Mr. Glowacki: "Everyone send psychological and spiritual hugs to Connie. NO, NOT REAL HUGS, BEN."

I will miss these people so much next year.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Partially for the new friends I've added (hello!) and partially for anyone:

http://formspring.me/blindmoonrise

Finals have never been so stressful. Perhaps my teachers recognize that this will be their last chance at killing us off, because every single class (except Racquet Sports, which doesn’t count because it’s Racquet Sports. And it will be the last day anyway, so it’s not like I can study) is throwing something huge at me. It’s not that I’m not used to 150-question multiple choice tests, it’s that I’m not used to six in a row, plus in-class essays. Well, okay, AP Lit will only be a 70-question multiple choice, but it’s a mock exam. That means three full essays. *dies*

 

I’m just…I have A’s in everything except AP Econ, and I think after Monday’s exam I have an A in that as well, but I need to maintain them. Every single one. Or a nervous breakdown is a guarantee. It's not that any one class seems like I'll have to kill myself for a A. It's that every single class was designed for students to have to do just that, except above-mentioned Racquet Sports. And I could get an A in each individual one, even the two that are literally the pace of college courses (which is to say, are actually an AP year shoved into a semester), but all shoved together? Hard to believe I'm actually smart enough for perfect grades.

Why I'm bitching on LiveJournal instead of studying is as much a mystery to me as it is to you. I'll go back to my textbooks now. *dives*
 

Conversation between my girlfriend and her "dad"

Flo: I WANT MY COMPUTER BACKKKK!
Flo:*WAIL*
Friend: let's go together, love
Friend: daughterly love. sophia need not worry

For over a year now, my life has been dominated by major looming dates. Not dates like birthdays and holidays, but hospital visits and college deadlines and friends coming or going, dates to work for or wait for with stress or hope but always always always anticipation. Now it feels like, after college friends are gone (23rd) and first semester ends (26th) there will be nothing but the quavering wait for April and college decisions. I mean, I know I insist I love every school on my list, and with the exception of Stanford it's pretty much true, but that doesn't mean I'm not stressed.

Besides, I really can't go to Wesleyan because it would cost way too much. So do Yale and Pomona, but my parents would never say no to Yale, and I've gone on and on about my adoration for Pomona to the point where I don't think finances could stop me. And all my other schools (I specify my to disclude Stanford) offer merit scholarships. In a perfect world, I just might get a free ride from Lewis and Clark or American University. At Occidental there's no chance--the only people they'd give full rides to are the disadvantaged and the absolutely mind-blowingly academically fantastic--but I might still get something, and the affiliation with Columbia makes my parents pretty happy about Occidental despite it lacking name value.
 

This is an attempt to (regarding nothing but waiting, not the monetary ramble) prove myself wrong

 

February

 - Find out if I'm a Douglass Scholar finalist

 - Find out if I'm a National Merit finalist

 - Fax Yale my 'accomplishments'

 - Midwinter break (erroneously named, but still nice)

 - Visit American University

 - Visit Flo =D

 - Possibly try out for Follies

 

March

 - Possibly hear back from Lewis and Clark

 - Possibly perform at Follies

 

...Yeah, gotta work on March. *gulp*

Colleges I’ve never applied to keep offering me free rides. Mostly colleges in Idaho, nice schools but not ones I’m going to. I guess this is the post-admission-deadline version of the “free application, no essay, and answer in two weeks!” offers. Shame none of my schools offer that.

 

On the more relevant side, my grades and test scores have automatically qualified me as a semifinalist for American University’s Frederick Douglass scholarship. (An acceptance letter has yet to arrive, but I daresay this makes that a given.) It would be incredible if I got it; not just automatic acceptance into the Honors program and lots of cool internship and study abroad opportunities, but full tuition right down to textbooks. Plus, if the essay I now have to write makes me a finalist, the next step is an interview in DC. Meaning that the five hour train ride from Yale to Johns Hopkins that is no longer going to happen has been replaced with a much shorter trip.

 

Other than drowning in work, nothing worth discussing is going on, unless you want me to flood your friends page with gushing about my girlfriend or good-naturedly bitching about the endless failed attempts of fellow KnightLife staff to pronounce my name. I apologize to the new members of my flist, for they have added a very uninteresting journal.

 

No, wait, one more thing: UNEP is in Nairobi. This makes me so freaking happy. I’ve missed East Africa, and Kenya isn’t as happy and peaceful as Tanzania (not to mention far more polluted) but it would be nice traveling there for work or study.

Most people are not aware I watch television. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but really, I'm not a TV person. Even if I had the time, which I generally don't. Ergo, despite watching two episodes of Doctor Who over the summer at Xanda's house and absolutely adoring it, I proceeded to not watch a bit of it until winter break rolled around. Now I have seen the entire fourth season courtesy of Flo, the three-part end to the third season courtesy of the internet, Waters of Mars courtesy of Flo, and finally the Ends of Time.

It just figures that I finally have time for the show, and David Tennant has to go and get killed. He's officially my favorite actor for about the same reasons Meryl Streep is my favorite actress: hilarious, versatile, and capable of remarkable subtlety despite not exercising that capability as often as I might like.

I'm the last person I know among my Who-loving friends to watch it, but I'll still avoid spoilers. I will say that I enjoyed it. I predicted most but not all of what happened, and that's quite good; usually I predict everything, always, with whatever I'm watching. A few ploys were just plain idiotic and a few too many things got drawn out too long, but overall it was brilliant and beautiful. Plus, I love the Doctor and Wilfred's interactions, and I utterly adore the dynamics between the Doctor and the Master. Adore adore adore.

Oh, okay, one (irrelevant) spoiler: THE DOCTOR SETTING JACK UP WITH ALONSO MADE ME SO FREAKING HAPPY. I loved Alonso, and you can't tell me he isn't a young version of Ianto.

That said, I don't like the new Doctor. I've seen the actor before and he irks me. But chances are I won't be watching any more Doctor Who until the next break anyway, and I've still got two seasons (minus three episodes in the first and four in the second, but I may choose to rewatch) of David Tennant goodness. After which I will either have gotten my fill, or I will ask Flo to direct me to something else with David Tennant in it.